Journey of Healing!

While I stepped into this journey, I had some expectations. I thought, once I start to question myself, my patterns, and start to consciously work towards healing, I will keep on walking upstairs, I will reach the spot where I will not feel the pain and hurt anymore.

But its nothing like that. The more I have touched my truth, the more I have realized 'I am a work in progress, I always will be.' The journey of healing is not like walking on the stairs, rather it is a long travel. You will find some uphills and downhills, plain roads, and some bumpy roads, simultaneously.

You are balanced for days which makes you feel, you have healed all your trauma. Then one night you wake up with a dream of your hurtful days and start to cry in the middle of the night. But as you are healing, you don't criticize yourself or the world, you do not keep unrealistic expectation from yourself or someone else. You do not get scared of those shadow sides and try to repress or numb them. Instead, you shower those parts of yours with compassion and attention. You soothe yourself and get yourself back to sleep.

You feel you have healed your pattern then again something triggers you and makes you realize, how tough it is to heal the whole nervous system. Despite some moments of triggers, something changes when you begin the healing process. You learn to stop and reflect while you get triggered, you change the pattern of your behavior consciously bit by bit, You create actions out of love rather than from guilt, shame, or fear.

You do not become a completely different person, right after you start the healing process. You gradually start seeing yourself differently, people around you differently, the stories you lived, with a different perspective. You understand the myth of 'perfection' and do not bother to strive toward that unattainable idea. You learn to appreciate yourself as a whole, you start releasing everything that's toxic in your life (your habits, your beliefs, relationships you are in). The same old toxic habits, relationships, ideas no more feels attractive to you. All of this makes healing beautiful.

Once you start to face your own shadows, you become more compassionate toward every being. You judge less and love more (others and self). You start dropping the need to control and accept whatever comes and goes. You start seeing yourself with a balanced lens, as someone with both strengths and weaknesses. Your relationship dynamics changes within the family, friendship, workplace... Most importantly, your relationship with 'Self' changes, indeed for better.

You understand, no one can ever be "The Perfect" yet you keep on working toward being the best version of yourself, little more every day.

Kripa Acharya
Psychosocial Counselor